Sunday, November 23, 2008

What are you trying to tell me???

Today I'm sitting at my computer, on C.O.A.L.s Foundation, going through names & CB (CaringBridge) sites, and it's like all the names just scroll by, but one is just jumping at me. I keep scrolling. I stop. Something's telling me to scroll back up. I can almost here it in my head "Stop- Go back - Haley Jones*- her name is Haley Jones*". So I scroll back up...there it is, Haley Jones*. I click her link. I find out she has DIPG. Same as Ella, and the numerous other children I've recently (but not intentionally) discovered. Now, this is totally terminal** and a rare childhood cancer (and childhood cancer in general is considered rare). Yet this is the fifth or sixth child I've found with it in the last month. I start falling in love with Haley. And then, I look down to the most resent journal entries...Haley died more than eight months ago. The introduction hadn't been updated. Call me crazy, but I really feel God had a hand in this, I just don't know why.

Lord, before this month I've only heard of one child with a DIPG tumor. Now everywhere I go, you are sending me stories of children with this tumor. What am I supposed to do? What message are you trying to send me? I feel you're trying to tell me something, but I don't know what it is! Do I donate to a certain foundation? Do I read more about this? Jesus, guide me. Tell me what it is you want me to do. I'll listen. I may be reluctant, but I'll listen in the end. I'm so confused. Haley died months ago...she is a precious child with an amazing story, but why did you show me her story? Why was I able to read her name while quickly scrolling through pages, but no one elses? You are showing me these children, all with one thing in common- a deadly tumor. Where do I go from here?

*Child's name changed
**There are VERY few (I've heard there are 7 confirmed 5 year survivors, there may be more) survivors, if any. You can never reall get a solid dx because the location prevents it from being biopsied. It is possible the few survivors did not in fact have DIPG, but something else. Possible, but unlikely. No one really knows.

I will be posting more about DIPGs, as I don't believe anything is a coincidence and maybe I can help someone out there.

Peace, love,
F.R.O.G! (Fully rely on God!)

OR as Zack would say,
"Peace, Love, PLATELETS!" LOL

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UPDATE- I just went to check on Ella. She passed away. Yesterday, 9:45 pm. One of her last requests was McDonalds, which she could not eat. But heaven is even better than McDonalds. I just have to trust that. I have to trust God that she is being taken care of and loved.

I can't believe this...I just can't!
Ella's CaringBridge

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

www.icouldbeyourchild.org

Anonymous said...

Alex!! Found you! OK, so I am going to start with this one and work up..commenting as I go, one at a time..I had heard about Ella, but did not follow her, I followed and prayed for a awesome warrior, Gunner, who also HAD DIPG..I say had as he died around the same time as Ella and I am still reeling too..interesting, DIPG, is it becoming more prevalent or is God talking to us? What say you? LOL...God bless,

Peace, Love & Platelets

Zack

www.caringbridge.org/visit/zack/